Not rainy, yet. (a second attempt)

I just lost a really good posting. Nothing like hitting preview, wanting to change something, hitting "recover post" and losing just about everything. Every relationship is fraught with peril, but I think our relationship with electronic media is perhaps more perilous than many others.

This is the picture of my 2nd oil class painting, when my color mixing was proving a disaster, and the instructor eventually told me no to worry about it.

What was really nice in the previous post, which I probably can't recreate here, were some thoughts about the artist's place in society and the relevance of art in today's world. Art today is much more a commodity, and I am sure somewhere someone is trying to create an "art futures" market, which will allow people to bet which artists will appreciate and which will depreciate. I would think the only problem would be with living artists, as they still have the power to surprise and perhaps soil their reputations. This is no where near where the other thoughts were, as they were more internal musings about past reactions, like my aversion to "publish or perish" which was one reason I didn't ever go for an advanced degree. The idea that someone has to like my work enough to publish it in order for me to keep a job, just seemed a bit wrong, though, in truth, I am now realizing it isn't much difference than working any job, if they boss doesn't like what you do, then you won't have much of a future at your job. Perhaps because all my job losses were of the shut the facility or company down, where it was everyone out, it never really occurred to me. I also touched on the whether I felt I could express myself effectively with art. This is where I think all my fears lie, in the fact that at some point, someone is going to judge me, and I think just about everyone dislikes being judged, as critics are not always very nice (just think of Dorothy Parker, if you need something a little beyond today's talent show judges). I think maybe it is just the haze of history, but artists (poets & painters) seemed to influence the world's thoughts from about from the late 19th century through WWII, though aside from major public art (read architecture) and art co-opted by advertising (or is it vice versa with Pop Art), there doesn't seem much in the way of an -ism for the 21st century--not that -isms are required. An artist today can draw from any historic style, but has everything been played out? War obviously hasn't been played out, but aside from bumper stickers, little pro/con seems to be making its way into art. Have television and cinema usurped the early twentieth century place of art, where it supported or railed against what was going on in the world? Have we become so civilized that art no longer has a place to be provocative? When I see new stuff, while I might like it, it doesn't really provoke, rather it looks designed to match the sofa.

One other thing mentioned in my lost post was how easy it was to be distracted in this electronically connected age. If I want to continue working toward creating art, I need to focus on it, and not on everything else. Unlike Dave, I am not in the position to leave my job and head back to graduate school, nor do I have a portfolio which would grant me acceptance right now, so I need to work on the more grounded things, like technique, and at the same time exploring new media to work in, as without the exploration, I will always get distracted by something I haven't tried.

All that said and done, I really hope to keep focused on creating, whether in pencil, paint, or with words. There is a tradition of artists also being writers. I like to write, as it helps me clear my head and toss thoughts out, but I find myself less than open with this electronic journal, and I am likely to keep it that way. Some thoughts exist for one to ponder, and work well for conversation or journals, but there is too little two-way communication in this medium for those thoughts. Too many times have I been misinterpreted in e-mail for me to anxious to be misinterpreted in a blog.

With creation, the other thing I am going to try to focus on is getting away, as the news here is strikingly insular, and without a perspective than transcends one nation, there is little one can say to man.