Marriage (and my changing opinion of it)

When I was younger, I thought "gay" marriage
would lead to nothing but "gay" divorce.

As a child of divorce, this made sense.

Then, as I got older, I learned marriage
wasn't just a pre-req for divorce.

As a child of divorce, what changed?

My father, who said he would never do it again,
married someone, someone he dated for years.

As a man of divorce, what changed?

Certainly not my mother,
happily remarried for 30 plus years.

As a man of divorce, what changed?

Cancer changed things, and my father,
being a man, didn't wish to burden his mother.

As a man of divorce, what changed?

His treatment should not be the burden
of the one who brought him into the world,

but rather, what changed?

Was his decision to let the woman,
The woman he had lived with for twenty years

Twenty plus years? what changed?

His decision that they should decide, together
what was to follow, and how to cope.

As a man of divorce, what changed?

He decided, after many years, to remarry.
Because their future was together.

As a child of divorce, what changed?

I learned that not all marriage
was strictly a divorce in the making.

As a child of divorce, what changed?

I learned that life happens, and
who you love requires a legal commitment.

As a child of divorce, what changed?

Her church doesn't recognize
Her commitment to him.

As a gay man, what changed?

Knowing my father's relationship
is valid legally, though not religiously.

As a gay man, what changed?

If I were in the same position, with one I loved,
then I would make the same choice as my father.